Calvinism and Chewing Gum

Calvin and Hobbes was (is? I dunno) a pretty popular comic strip about a child and his stuffed animal. Which was which is irrelevant (and me calling things irrelevant in my blog is particularly amusing to me) but more people in this country could probably tell me which was which than could tell me who the characters were named after.

Thomas Hobbes was a philosopher from England who wrote Leviathan in the 1600's. It was a defense of the institution of monarchy within a secular context. I could talk social contract and the English Civil War all day (although I'd have to make stuff up to fill up time, because even given my penchant for naps and sleeping in, that would be be a lot of talking), but I don't want to digress too much.

John Calvin was a French guy from about a century earlier. He was a Protestant thinker and leader whose influence continues to this day (and, interestingly (to me), quite influential on the Puritans who were instrumental in the English Civil Wars occurring when Hobbes wrote Leviathan)... Calvinism, named after Mr. Calvin, is a theological approach that contains one key doctrine that is the reason I'm writing this blog (or, rather one of the two reasons).

That first reason is the idea of predestination. God has already chosen, according to Calvinist thought, who is saved and who is not. Since he is omniscient, he knows the future and God knows what we will do and he knows who is/will be worthy of entry to heaven. We should try to be saved, but, ultimately, whether we are or not has already been decided based on what we will do, not just on what we have done.

If it sounds like "Lost", it should. There's a reason that the writers of that show have named several key characters after philosophers.

Anyway... predestination and free will and Grace (unlike Lost, I never watched that show) and everything is all well and good in the theological realm, but the second reason I'm writing this blog is a bit more down-to-earth: chewing gum.

I like chewing gum. I like chewing chewing gum. It gives me something to do when I'm just standing around and it can freshen my breath and it lets me go MacGyver if I need to escape the clutches of a kidnapper.

It also has the horrific downside of making me bite myself. It's unavoidable. It didn't happen last night and it might not today, but at some point I will bite my tongue. Or my cheek. Or my lip. And then, as sure as the sun sets in the West, I will develop a horribly painful canker sore. The sore will make talking and eating and living painful, to the point of being angry with the chewing gum and almost going to the point where I promise never to chew it again.

But I know I cannot stay mad at the chewing gum. The canker sore will fade and I will want to chew chewing gum again. And I will. And the cycle will repeat.

I have no free will here. It is predestined that I will chew the gum, it is decided that I will bite myself, and I will be ravaged by canker sores for the rest of my days.