A Woman and Two Guys Get Into an Elevator

Do you know how sometimes you put yourself on autopilot, and you do something without even thinking about it, and even without realizing it?

One example that I always think of is driving home when I was in high school. The back roads of Colton, Oregon were treacherous, but I went the same way so often that I knew when to slow down and speed up and when to turn and when to watch for the random basketball-dribbling boxer-in-training. I knew it so well that I didn't even have to think about it, and it's shocking that I didn't end up wrapped around a telephone poll or a bigfoot imposter given how often I zoned out.

Another time that I react without thinking is when I get a compliment. I've learned that if I think about a compliment when I get it, I will become embarrassed and make it awkward for everyone involved. As a result, I tend to glaze over, mentally and emotionally, when someone compliments my hair or my smile or my denim.

My jeans tend to get at least as much attention as my genes, for whatever reason.

This evening I was taking my building's elevator from the upper garage to my apartment, and I barely caught it after a man and woman got in a few moments ahead of me.

I didn't know either of them, but they were getting off on my floor and I was checking my phone as it headed upwards.

After about 10 seconds of silence, the woman said, "I like your jeans."

I was so, so close to saying, "Thank you." So close because it is my programmed response and because I was wearing some pretty kick-ass Acnes. Something stopped me, though, for the critical moment that it took for the other guy to respond to her, uncertainly and a bit abashedly, "Uh... thank you."

My thanking her wouldn't have been crashing my mom's blue Nissan pickup into a douglas fir tree due to detachment from the world, but I was able to avoid a lesser crisis by thinking before I thanked.