I've read articles about how social media distorts the perception of one's own life. Looking through one's friends' feeds or walls or whatever, one might see lives filled with
- amazing summit views after challenging but satisfying hikes in ideal weather
- fit young women in bikinis lounging on boats in ideal weather
- smiling babies in ideal weather
Or maybe all three. Or maybe just ideal weather.
Like weather, though, lives aren't ideal. (I know... newsflash.)
I sort of take pride in being more open with my Facebook feed than most tend to be... it's true that I keep my friends list small, but when people are on that list, they might see my life filled with
- drunken ramblings about chats I'm having with friends after drinking too much rum
- my (seemingly inexplicable) selfies featuring the latest lightsaber purchase I've made
- amazing summit views after challenging but satisfying hikes in ideal weather
OK. Not that last one. I was just seeing if you were paying attention.
So I try to be open. I try to paint a real picture of my life both because I think it's interesting enough to be, uh, of interest, and because I enjoy looking back at what happened a couple of years ago and shaking my head at how dumb/awesome/uninteresting my past self was.
One of the aspects of being open is the inclusion of my family in my friends list. Not just my siblings and their spouses, but my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmothers. And my parents.
I don't expect that most of it makes sense to them--it doesn't make sense to people with whom I share the experiences about which I am posting all of the time, I'd bet--but I know they know I'm a bit of an oddball and put up with it.
So, too, do the friends whom I have known for a long time.
A trouble spot is with new friends. These friends might be real life friends I've known for a while, in which case I'd anticipate they'd "get" it relatively quickly, or they might be brand new friends.
Of these brand new friends, some might be women.
Of these women, some might be individuals I have interest in dating.
That is the most delicate population of all, and that is really the only population I worry about offending.
I say all of this because I had a terrible dream the other night. In this dream I'd met a woman that I liked and we became Facebook friends. I didn't even know her well enough to give her a blog codename, but I was looking forward to doing so. We'll call her No-Codename.
We had been texting (in the dream, I mean; yeah, in the dream!) and we'd set up an evening for a date. Unfortunately, I was out of the state and so we had to schedule it about a week later. In spite of that, we managed to have pleasant txt exchanges.
Then, as people tend to do, she posted a few pictures on Facebook. I liked one or two and commented in a silly fashion on one. She liked my comment and ... all was well. All was on track. I went to sleep, in my dream, feeling like I was in a decent position with the date about three days away.
I awoke the next morning (in the dream, not from it) and checked Facecbook and my mom had commented on my status, she'd liked a couple of my pictures, and she'd... liked No-Codename's picture. And she'd commented on No-Codename's picture.
Facebook can be confusing. It can be tough to determine who's posting what. And I love my mom to pieces and am glad that she contributes to my Facebook existence.
But I was not pleased. I was concerned that No-Codename might think that I was talking to my mother about her. Which would be less than ideal before a first date.
I got my mother on the phone and walked her through undoing what she'd done. She apologized about a million times and I know she didn't mean anything by it, but... ugh.
I txted No-Codename, laughing off my mother's mistake. No response.
I txted her the next day to see if we were still on for our date, scheduled for the next night. No response.
My dream continued for some time, as I strained not to txt again, knowing she'd either been freaked out or she was too busy to reply. Or she won the lottery and moved away. Or [insert a million other possibilities here].
I woke up before I found out the answer.
