What NOT to Say

What NOT to Say
Current mood:Somber
Sometimes I, like everyone, struggle with the right thing to say. No matter what is about to come out of my mouth, it seems like it's just not going to be quite right.

So when someone says something to me, especially in a situation that's uncomfortable through no fault of their own, I try to cut them some slack. You know, not get aggravated or think to myself, "That person is a moron."

Well, today I had one of those (relatively) rare times when I let my own emotions prompt me to think of someone, "That person is a moron."

Let me put you in this person's shoes, OK? And after walking you through this, I'll write what was said, and you can be the judge of whether it was absolutely ridiculous or if I'm just being hypersensitive.

You work at a bank. You're helping a married couple that's waiting for the final days of their statutory waiting period (for their divorce) to expire do some real estate refinancing and management. You've worked primarily with the wife, but the husband has showed up to sign the documents today.

You walk the husband through the documents, and he signs or initials about 40 pages over the course of 15 or 20 minutes. He looks listless... a bit dazed. Terrifically handsome and clearly very intelligent. But listless.

After the paperwork is completed, the husband signs a quitclaim, which presumably is part of a financial arrangement where the wife is "buying out" the husband's interests in their property... in their home.

You, generously, offer to notarize the quitclaim, and as you ask the husband to initial your notary book, you can sense that the mood at the table has darkened a bit. Where a listless man sat, now a sad one sits. The wife is no cheerier on the other side of the table, either.

So you wrap things up. The husband stands and you hold out your hand. You tell the husband that it was nice to have met him, and as you shake his hand you have to say SOMETHING in closing.

So you say, "All right. Have fun!"