I don't usually detail every minor adventure I go through when I head out for karaoke on weekends... I'm usually FAR too busy typing up longwinded encounters with canned goods.
But this one I think I'll make an exception.
I was at Ozzies on Friday night and it wasn't a very good night. A massive bachelor party where a bunch of guys in shirts and ties were totally plastered, not that many cute girls, and too much bad singing (there's a difference between lighthearted bad singing and depressingly bad singing; the latter was in full force Friday night).
There was a group of people, though, sitting in a corner booth. Two guys and two girls, and one of the girls was CUTE. Not like fake hot or slutty, and not like "she had a cute face but the rest of her...". If I were a participant on the "Fifth Wheel" or "Elimidate" (are those shows on anymore?) I would say she was the "total package". And of course I would be dramatically overstating things, but that's a fun phrase to use (particularly about oneself, but I don't have the chutzpah to do that very often).
Anyways, she was good-looking. And the people she was with... weren't. Not that attractive people always travel with other attractive people (sometimes we travel alone) but she appeared to be TOTALLY outclassing the guy she was with. It was weird. As I told Morgan on the phone yesterday, I had built up a funny story in my head that she was with him and he got into an automobile accident and she's sticking with him now even though he's just a shell of a man because she loved the way that he used to make her feel.
(How sad is it that I find that scenario funny? Ah, well...)
When it was my turn, I picked Madonna's "Like A Virgin" (it had treated me well two time previously, but the third time was NOT a charm... that's beside the point, though). After my name was called, the drunkards all started cheering, including the cute chick and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend, especially, seemed to love the way the two words "Ed O" flow trippingly off the tongue, because he said it (loudly) about 6 times in a row, right into my face, from about 3 feet away. It was odd.
It was either the alcohol or the pain meds that one of his doctors have him on. Or maybe the damage from the head trauma just hasn't worn off (if it ever will, poor son of a bitch...)
So he, along with everyone else, was excited for no particular reason. But as I caressed the mic, preparing to make sweet, sweet love to it, and as the song title appeared on the monitors and the music started, Mr. Brain Damage got really somber, shook his head, looked RIGHT at me and said a totally, totally awesome line:
"Ed O. ... I believed in you!"
And then he headed to the bar.
His girlfriend, of course, loved my selection (as almost all chicks do) and she wasn't shy about dancing around right next to me, smiling beautifully the whole time. At one point, Gaping Head Wound Harry came and kinda stood between us disapprovingly, but his short term memory just isn't what it should be, so he blanked out or something and wandered off again.
At the end of the song, I thanked the hot thing for dancing with me, and she said no problem, and that was that. I totally, totally should have given her my card. It would have been the perfect opportunity to (a) make a fool of myself, (b) get into a fight, and/or (c) steal an ugly guy's girlfriend.
But I missed my chance. I really hope to get over it...
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