Movie Experiment II: Strange Brew

Strange Brew is a movie that I sort of grew up on. I had a videocassette of the movie that I watched a ridiculous number of times, and my mom and I referred to it as "The Movie" (not in print, so I don't know if it was actually capitalized, but it FELT capitalized when we mentioned it (I don't recall how or why my mother and I talked about it, but I just remember that we did...))

Strange Brew places number ten on my all time top ten movies in spite of how thick the nostalgia is whenever I watch it. Why? Because it's not that great of a movie. It's a vehicle for the McKenzie brothers characters (who originally appeared on SCTV) to talk about beer and be morons in heavily accented Canadian English.

Funny, but not exactly Shakespeare. Or even Mall Rats.

Interestingly, while it is not those things, it has a TON of elements paying homage to Hamlet. It has very little to do with the storyline, for the most part, and I don't know Hamlet all that well, but it's an amusing and random thing.

Another amusing and random thing was the pair of attendees for my showing of the movie.

The two lovely ladies who were in attendance were Shawty and Winner. (Queen Bee, who was a part of the original troika, had innumerable scheduling conflicts and ended up agreeing to see another movie, another time.)

Queen Bee and Shawty are the two people with whom I have interacted since I've been writing this blog that had to wait the longest for a codename. Shawty didn't get her codename until more than two years after I met her... she didn't really even get much mention in my blog with the exception of an example of using a White Knight as a neg.

I remember meeting Winner at Ozzie's almost three years ago (she probably remembers the exact date, both because she's got a good memory and I'm sort of a big deal). You can read a blog dedicated to her and her birfday party here.

Shawty and Winner had never met, and it was fun to get them in the same room together. Both are very opinionated and willing to speak their mind about things (as you'll see when I tried to get dressed to go out) and, in retrospect, it's probably best that Queen Bee wasn't there. Some topics are like politics or religion, and some topics are much more difficult.

Winner brought Mexican beer (the plan had been Canadian whiskey, originally, but Tecate worked just fine in spite of my general indifference to cerveza), I supplied some Hawaiian pizza (Canadian bacon... get it?) and cheese bread... and banana nut bread for dessert (unrelated to the movie, but related to the fact I'd just baked it the night before).

The movie went reasonably well, I think. It was made in 1983, which was several years before either of my guests were born, but the silliness is a bit timeless (for good or bad) and I hope that the ladies enjoyed it.

After the movie, Winner and I were going out to sing karaoke, and Shawty had to go home due to an extremely early work day the next day (today). We ended up going out a BIT later than anticipated because of their aforementioned opinionated ways.

A little background on how I get ready to go out: if I am going to go out drinking, I almost always prefunk, meaning I have some drinks to set a base and cut down on the amount I'll spend out and about town. I know that, due to alcohol, my ability to dress myself appropriately is impaired.

To account for this, I generally decide what I am going to wear (along with a general approach for my hair) before I have a drink. (I also apply guyliner, if I'm going to wear any, while I'm stone sober, because I've seen the damage that can be done when a drunk person (including me) applies it.)

Well, last night I had decided to wear my stupid Ed Hardy jeans, which I had only worn once in public (as part of my Ed Hardy Party last October). After the gym, I took a shower and put them on, with a placeholder t-shirt. After Shawty and Winner got there, I explained that I planned on wearing them out, and that I'd have to figure out what shirt to wear later.

After the movie, it was time for me to get dressed to go out. It took longer than I'd anticipated.

This is a pretty accurate transcript:

Ed O: So... I need to find a shirt to go with these jeans...
Shawty: You're not really wearing those are you?
Ed O:Yes... with my awesome bright white shoes!
Shawty: Jesus Christ...
Ed O: See? [Holds up the shoes, which are still pretty remarkably white.]
Winner: Please don't wear those jeans.
Shawty: It's not just the stuff on the pockets.
Winner: Yeah, it's the cut, too.
Ed O: What? This super-baggy look is my signature look!
Shawty: Uh, no.
Winner: Please wear something else. Please.
Ed O: OK. Sure... [starts to walk back to bedroom]
Winner: Oh, wear the crotch pants!!
Shawty: The what?
Winner: He has a pair of jeans that he wears that you can't help but not look at his crotch.
Ed O: [from the bedroom] You can't help but look at my crotch, you mean.
Winner: What?
Ed O: Never mind.
Shawty: What are you talking about?
Winner: He wears these jeans that his crotch is, like, BAM! Right there!
Ed O: [Wandering out of his bedroom, pulling up the second pair of jeans.] I don't know what you're talking about, Winner...
Winner: Those aren't them!
Shawty: Those are them? His crotch doesn't look big in them.
Ed O: Thanks. I actually think I've lost weight or they've stretched, or...
Winner: Whatever. What shirt are you going to wear?
Ed O: Uh... how's about this? [Walks back to bedroom, comes out wearing shirt number one].
Shawty: No!
Winner: It doesn't work.
Ed O: No? OK, well... [Walks back to bedroom, comes out wearing shirt number two]... this one?
Winner: Eek!
Shawty: Hell, no!
[Shirts three and four are subsequently shot down, as well.]
Ed O: Well, which one SHOULD I wear? You guys know my wardrobe...
Shawty: [Walking back to bedroom] How about that one with the things on the shoulders?
Ed O: The epaulets?
Shawty: Yeah!
Winner: [In bedroom with other two] Yeah... the black short-sleeved one.
Ed O: Hmm... [holds up a shirt number five] This one?
Winner and Shawty (together): Nooo...
Ed O: Well... let me see... [digs through his "recently worn shirts" pile and pulls out shirt number six] This one?
Winner: Yeah!
Ed O: OK... I just wore it on Saturday night, but... [puts it on]
Shawty: What is that on the sleeve? Some sort of stain?
Ed O: I have no idea. [Licks finger and wipes off minor bit of something or other on the sleeve.]
Winner: Ewwww!
Shawty: Who DOES that? Why would you do that? What was it?
Ed O: I have no idea what it was, but it's gone now...
Winner: OK. Whatever. What shoes are you going to wear?
Ed O: One of my two new pairs of black shoes.
Shawty: The more plain the better!
Ed O: Uh, OK. What about these? [Holds up shoe pair number two]
Winner: Ugh. No.
Ed O: Um... OK. How about these? [Points to shoe pair number three]
Shawty: I guess so. Ed, sometimes you buy some cool stuff, but sometimes... I dunno.
Ed O: OK. So here's the outfit. What do you think?
Winner: The jeans don't work. They're too light.
Ed O: F me. Really?
Shawty: I agree. What about these? [Points to jeans pair number three, sitting on the keyboard near my couch]
Ed O: Ah, yes, the dirt-cheap pair of Earnest Sewns I got from eBay...
Winner: Yeah, those might work.
Ed O: OK... [Takes off shoe pair number three and jeans pair two, knowing they'd seen him in his underwear before]
Winner: What kind of underwear are you WEARING?
Ed O: What? They're Jockeys. Canberry got 'em for me.
Shawty: They sure are tight.
Ed O: They're underwear... [puts on jeans pair number three] OK. How are these?
Shawty: Are those girls' jeans?
Ed O: No.
Winner: THOSE look like crotch jeans!
Shawty: They look like girls' jeans.
Ed O: They fit me just fine, and they're not girls jeans.
Winner: Hmm... the pocket looks...
Ed O: The pocket is plain. Stop it about the pocket.
Shawty: I don't like the color.
Winner: The way they flare out at the bottom make them look weird.
Ed O: OK. Thanks. I'm wearing these tonight. But not this shirt.
Winner: Wear what you want.
Shawty: Yeah. Whatever.

It was, like, the single biggest strike against polygamy that I've ever encountered. I don't watch Big Love... are there scenes like that?

So I went and changed to shirt number four. I put on a leather jacket. I put on spectacles (which were vetoed by Winner) and hair product (which did little other than make my hair look puffy throughout the rest of the night). So, for those of you keeping score, it was shoes pair number three, pants pair number three and shirt number four.

After 20 minutes of an uphill climb, fashion-style, Shawty went home, and Winner and I wandered over to Ozzie's.

Movie Experiment, Night II was a great success, even if getting dressed by a couple of girls is less fun than getting undressed by a couple of girls...