When 6 + 6 = 10, Ed O = Pissed Off

Arithmetic is pretty straightforward most of the time. If you have six of something and add six more (without subtracting any and assuming base ten system), you have twelve of those things.

Let me demonstrate:

Easy, right?

Of course, a lot of life seems easy. Then weird paradigm shifts occur--like string theory and complex adaptive systems and online porn--and our world is turned upside down.

But a change in the status quo is often difficult and frustrating. Today I learned that six plus six does not always equal twelve. This revelation occurred at a pizza place near my office.

I stopped in for a sub sandwich. I enjoy sandwiches and I was hungry, so it seemed like a natural fit. Subway was a bit far away and I eat there a lot, so a local place sounded delicious.

After eying the menu, I decided on a "Classic," with various meats and some tomatoes and onions. I didn't get the large, which was 12 inches... I got a half-sub, which was six inches. Seemed reasonable.

But. Examine this graph with the sub-verted (get it?) math:

That's right. The sandwich seemed small, so after unwrapping it at my desk I grabbed a ruler and measured. The long edge of the diagonally-cut sandwich was right at six inches, but the short edge was just under four.

Six inch sub my ass.

The sandwich was delicious, but there wasn't enough of it and it had the special sauce of injustice. At least I didn't order the footlong.