Rok: A Vegas Play in One Act

Rok

by Ed O

Dramatis Personae

ED O, awkward dancer from Seattle
TM2000, fellow traveler from Seattle
SALT and PEPPER, attractive Rok dance floor participants
WEATHERMAN, he who makes it rain; social terrorist
THE PIMP, a jovial Rok patrol who might be more than he seems
BIRTHDAY GIRL
SHRINKY DINK
HOOD RAT
PORCINA, pleasant but rotund female Rok patroness

Scene One

In the entryway to Rok, a dance club in the Hotel-Casino of New York New York. ED O enters. He waits for his eyes to adjust and surveys the scene as he soliloquizes.

ED O

Oh, this is good. Less busy than last night but still enough people to keep it interesting. I hope that the music is as good as last night, and I hope that I imbibe slightly less alcohol so I can make less of a fool of myself. Oh, ho! What is this? A txt?

Txting to TM2000:

Yes, come on in. There are enough people here to keep it interesting.

(Waits as TM2000 enters.)

TM2000

Yeah, this isn't too bad.

ED O

Indeed. I am pleased that you could join me. Look about you and take in all that lies before us! Women for the taking and asshole guys for the avoiding.

TM2000

OK. First of all, I have a girlfriend. No "taking of women" for me. Secondly, why are you talking like that?

ED O

I dunno. It seemed like the right thing to do. Anyway, whattaya think? Oh, wait... check that out!

(Points towards SALT and PEPPER, who are dancing and are approached by GUY NUMBER ONE)

GUY NUMBER ONE
(Dancing closer.)

SALT and PEPPER
(Dancing away from GUY NUMBER ONE.)

GUY NUMBER ONE
(Takes the hint and shuffles off despondently.)

TM2000

Haha. Are you going to go talk to them?

ED O

Me? No. I am a terrible dancer and whatever wit I have to offer will be drowned out by the current Lady Gaga song, which we will undoubtedly hear four or five other times the rest of tonight.

TM2000

The music seemed good last night.

ED O

Yeah, it was, I was just--well, well, well. What do we have here?

(Points towards SALT and PEPPER, who are dancing and are approached by WEATHERMAN)

WEATHERMAN
(Walks up to within four feet of SALT and PEPPER and stands still, looking at them.)

SALT and PEPPER
(Dancing, not making eye contact with WEATHERMAN.)

WEATHERMAN
(Pulls a small wad of one dollar bills out of a pocket and starts to "make it rain" by dropping dollar bills at the feet of SALT and PEPPER.)

PEPPER
(Bends at the waist and picks up the three or four dollars within easy reach.)

WEATHERMAN
(Mutters something unintelligible, laughs confidently, and strides away from SALT and PEPPER.)

TM2000

Wow.

ED O

Yes. Moron. Does that work?

TM2000

I have no idea. And who would it work on?

ED O

I shudder to think. I'm gonna go get a drink at the bar.

TM2000

OK. I'll be over in a bit.

Scene Two

On the other side of the dance floor, ED O orders a Sky Vodka and Sprite (which was on sale until 12:30 AM for $5) and surveys the scene from the new angle. He notes that SALT and PEPPER have managed to stave off at least two more potential dance partners.

He also notices that, to his right when he had his back to the bar, a group of revelers including BIRTHDAY GIRL, SHRINKY DINK, HOOD RAT and THE PIMP are leaving the couches they were sitting on and dancing their way over towards his area.

BIRTHDAY GIRL
(To ED O, as THE PIMP looks on)

Dance between my girlfriends! C'mon. Do it!

ED O

I dunno...

THE PIMP

Do it, man!

ED O

All, right...

(He sidles up between SHRINKY DINK and HOOD RAT. His poor dancing is either disguised or exacerbated by their grinding and general touching of him.)

(HOOD RAT and ED O break away from the human chain and they dance together for a bit before disengaging.)

TM2000
(Standing at the bar with another fine Skyy Vodka drink.)

Impressive.

ED O

Not my dancing, I know. So you must mean the chick. Kinda hot, huh?

TM2000

Yeah. Sort of ... hmm...

ED O

Trashy?

TM2000

A bit.

ED O

Urban? And I don't mean that in a racial codeword kinda way.

TM2000

Yeah, maybe.

ED O

Did you see the tattoo she had on her breast? Or on her neck? Or the piercings?

TM2000

No, but I guess I wasn't quite as close as you were.

ED O

Truth. Oh, well. That was odd but fun. I'm gonna go back to the other part of the floor. Talk to you in a bit.

Scene Three

ED O is back on the other side of the dance floor. Noticing that WEATHERMAN has recently made it rain again, he scoops up a couple of dollar bills that had fluttered away, and hands them to PEPPER, who smiles and tucks them into the growing batch of bills in her bra.

PORCINA
(Dancing up next to ED O.)

Hi there. Would you like to dance?

ED O

Uhh... OK. Sure. Yeah. Sure.

(PORCINA and ED O dance for some time, with ED O taking special care not to touch his dance partner, who seems like a very nice person but was less than the most attractive person on the face of the planet.)

(At some point it occurs to ED O that they were not at a middle school dance and the songs blended together... providing no natural break to stop dancing with PORCINA.)

Hey. Thanks. I'm gonna go dance with my boyfriend now!

PORCINA

Wha--? Oh, sure, yeah. OK! Have fun!

ED O

Bye!

(Walks/dances away from PORCINA, noticing that SALT and PEPPER had successfully maintained distance from all the guys on the dance floor, including WEATHERMAN, whose repetitive "make it rain" move didn't seem to be paying dividends.)

THE PIMP
(Intercepting ED O as he made his way towards TM2000. Wears a huge smile on his face.)

Hey man! Yeah, all right! Good to see you.

ED O

Yeah. You having fun?

THE PIMP

Ah, yeah, man! So you were dancing with my girlfriend's friends earlier, huh?

ED O

Yeah. Poorly, but yeah.

THE PIMP

Cool, man. So you want me to hook you up, I can do it, you know, man. I know them, man!

ED O

Uh, OK. Yeah. Thanks. See ya later.

(Walks over to TM2000)

TM2000

What was that?

ED O

I am not sure. He is being super-friendly. Maybe it's because his girlfriend's have a great party?

TM2000

Maybe. That doesn't make much sense, but... maybe.

Scene Three

More time has passed. More alcohol has been consumed. ED O is making his way over towards a couch where HOOD RAT is seated, working on a Long Island Ice Tea.

ED O

So... how are you doing?

HOOD RAT

GREAT, thanks!

ED O

Is this seat taken?

HOOD RAT

No. Come here!

ED O
(Taking a seat next to HOOD RAT.)

Is your friend having a good ... uhh...

(Leans back as HOOD RAT leans in, towards him.)

Are you OK?

HOOD RAT

Bite me.

ED O

What?

HOOD RAT

Bite me. Do it.

ED O

Like... bite-bite?

HOOD RAT

Like this...

(Leans in and nips ED O on his right jawline.)

ED O

Woah!

BIRTHDAY GIRL
(Approaching the couch from the dance floor and grabbing HOOD RAT by the hands.)

Come on and dance!

HOOD RAT
(Allowing herself to stand and then flopping back down, this time onto ED O's lap.)

I like him.

ED O

...

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Come dance! Now!

HOOD RAT
(Standing back up, and then bending at the waist, thrusting her rear end and a myriad of other body parts into ED O's personal space.)

ED O

...

BIRTHDAY GIRL

You are gonna get kicked out! Come on and dance over here!

ED O

Uh, you should probably, uh, like, stop... or something.

HOOD RAT

(Sits back on ED O's lap, this time less appropriately than before.)

ED O

...

BOUNCER

Excuse me, miss.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Uh, oh.

BOUNCER

(Pointing at HOOD RAT)

Let's go. Time for you to go.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

(Glances at ED O, who is disentangling himself from HOOD RAT, then reaches out for HOOD RAT's hand.)

OK, here we go.

HOOD RAT

(Staggering towards the exit with SHRINKY DINK, BIRTHDAY GIRL and THE PIMP. Grabs at ED O.)

Come with us. Come on!

ED O

(Lets himself be dragged by HOOD RAT. Looking at TM2000, who shrugs and follows.)

Uh... OK. I guess. 

Scene Five

Outside Rok. BIRTHDAY GIRL and SHRINKY DINK stand near THE PIMP, who wears a frustrated look on his face. HOOD RAT is draped on ED O and TM2000 stands removed from the group, watching amusedly.

ED O

So... uh. Where are you guys staying? Which hotel?

HOOD RAT

We're not.

ED O

What? Where are you from?

HOOD RAT

California.

SHRINKY DINK

What? 

HOOD RAT

We're from California, right?

SHRINKY DINK

(Smiling knowingly)

Yeah. California.

ED O

Uh. OK. So where we going?

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Where should we go?

ED O

What? I don't--

(He notices that TM2000 has been talking to THE PIMP, and interjects.)

What's up, guys?

THE PIMP

I spent over $300 on drinks tonight.

ED O

Wow. That's a lot.

THE PIMP

So I was thinking, you know. Chip in some money.

HOOD RAT

(Stepping in between THE PIMP and ED O, speaking in hushed tones)

He's lying.

ED O

(To THE PIMP)

Chip in some money? They didn't pay for their own drinks?

THE PIMP

It was $300. You know. Maybe give me a little...

HOOD RAT

He's lying. He is.

ED O

(Digging through his pockets and pulling out a few bucks, handing them to THE PIMP)

Here you go. Whatever.

(WEATHERMAN appears as if from the shadows, whispering into BIRTHDAY GIRL's ear. They both look at ED O conspiratorially.)

BIRTHDAY GIRL

OK, time to go.

(Grabs HOOD RAT's hand, pulling her away from ED O.)

ED O

(Stares at the backs of BIRTHDAY GIRL, SHRINKY DINK, THE PIMP and HOOD RAT, as they stagger away from the club's entrance. WEATHERMAN has disappeared. ED O turns to TM2000, who shrugs.)

What just happened?

TM2000

I have no idea. It's Vegas, right?

ED O

Yeah. 

(Motions to Rok's entrance.)

You ready to go back in?

TM2000

Let's do it.

ED O

Yes. Let's do it.

THE END