Doctor's Office

I hadn't had a checkup with a doctor in, like, 2.5 years. I don't know if that's standard for people or not, but I feel better knowing that I've at least talked to a medical professional, just to make sure that I'm not hours from dying. I mean, I can't be sure (due to my love of jumping in front of moving buses and wrestling alligators). But I can have more confidence that I won't.

Last month I made an appointment to see a doctor to get a checkup.

Also last month, I was sick pretty much every day. I was OK the first couple, and a couple towards the end, so I figure I was some level of unwell 27 days of January. (Unwell physically, of course; don't get me started on the whole mental/emotional thing...) That's over 20 days where I had a sore throat or sinus pain or something else that made me consider going to the doctor to get looked at.

But I persevered and I was feeling nearly 100% well when I entered the doctor's office (or, rather, doctors' office, since the office is used by many doctors (and, indeed, is doctors' offices)). I want to share some news and notes from my visit with the doctor, the lab, and the pharmacy.

• Part of a checkup is that there's really not much to do. I answered questions with the doctor (who was new) and he was nice and conversational. One of the standard things is going through a checklist of risks: do I smoke? Do I use drugs? Do I exercise? I was 100% honest, and most of the time I was pleased to know I was doing the "right" thing when I thought of what I should be doing. There were, of course, a couple exceptions.
• I hadn't spoken to a doctor (as part of a checkup, etc.) since I started drinking. Telling him how many drinks I had a week was a bit awkward. It triggered a follow-up line of questioning he called "CAGE":
• C: Have you tried (unsuccessfully) to Cut back on your drinking?
• A: Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
• G: Do you ever feel Guilty about your drinking?
• E: Do you need Eyedrops to wake up in the morning?
• I was able to answer "no" to all the CAGE indicators, although I was not exactly sure what eyedrops even do, so maybe I need them without knowing it.
• The other primary warning sign risk I had was something I won't go into here, but it was the kind of warning sign risk that most guys who are single are willing to put up with, so I don't feel too bad.
• The doctor spent about a half of an hour talking to me, and I get the sense he was sort of new. He seemed to know what he was talking about, but told me a lot of stuff I already knew. I would like to think, generally, that I sounded reasonably intelligent.
• Whatever cache of apparent intelligence I'd built up went away instantly when he asked me to drop my drawers so he could check me for a hernia... and I forgot what part of my body a hernia may occupy. I don't want to talk about it. *blush*
• I walked out of the doctors' office(s) with two things to do: blood work and a prescription. Neither of these things went off without a hitch.
• The lab where I was going to get blood drawn was in the building, so I wandered over to the location and waited for, like, 10 minutes. There was a "no cell phones" sign up, which I paid attention to even though I was utterly alone in the lab.
• Eventually the tech showed up and helped me. As she had pulled a vial full of blood, I asked her what I thought was a reasonable question, and we had an odd conversation:
  Me: So... is it OK if I go to the gym after having this blood drawn?
  Her: Yes. It would take about 45 of these vials to add up to a pint.
  Me: Ah. [Unspoken: how much f'ing blood is a pint? If I'd lost a pint could I go to the gym? I don't want to discuss things in ice cream volumes...]
  Her: Well, if you feel dizzy, stop.
  Me: Yes, I generally do that, in any case. I suppose if I drop dead my  test results won't matter, right?
  Her: Test results should be ready in seven to ten days.
  Me: ... OK [Thanks for listening...]
• After the lab, and after a trip to the gym, I went to the pharmacy. It was a comedy of errors, and it was all my fault. Specifically:
• I grabbed my prescription and went in. Got into a long line.
• Waited for 10 minutes. I was second in line when I pulled my prescription out of my pocket and saw... that it was my doctor's visit receipt. Oops.
• Went back to my car. Grabbed my ACTUAL prescription. Went back in. Got into a long line.
• Waited for 10 minutes. Got to the front of the line. And was told by the pharmacy tech that I was in the PICKUP line... not the drop-off line.
• The drop-off line was empty, luckily, but I ended up waiting about 40 minutes to get my medicine once I'd turned it in.

So... embarrassment. Wasted time. Lost blood.

But, overall, reasonably good health and piece of mind.

Yay, me.