Advice

For whatever reason, I enjoy giving advice. I think it's based on three things:

• A genuine concern for my friends and people in general,
• My fascination with drama, and
• My know-it-all nature.

Hopefully it's primarily the first bullet, rather than the first bullet being a rationalization rooted in the other two.

Irrespective of that, I have a penchant for building relationships with great people. Maybe not Great, but smart and good people. Giving advice to smart and good people is pretty easy, because things tend to work out for those kinds of people, whether the advice is full of pith and Truth or not.

A case in point is two of my friends who got job offers this week. I was funemployed/funderemployed for some time and still am savoring the feeling of being gainfully employed and working it. I mean, I work it, but working it for money. Gainfully working it. In any event, I'm jazzed for Big Apple and Big Red (is that his codename? I need that stinking Ed O Blog Guide that my fan club claims to be working on!). I am also relieved that my advice did not render them entirely unemployable forevermore.

I ask for advice sometimes, too. Not very often, and it's even loss common that I plan on doing whatever the advice-giver recommends, but I figure since I have surrounded myself with smart and good people I might as well ask for their input occasionally.

The funny thing about that is when I ask a question and I get an opinion that has great merit, but is not the question I asked. By outlining the rest of this blog, it's not my intention to discredit the advice of these two guys, and I definitely appreciate their insights.

Flowers and TravelMate2000 are, like me, INTJ. We tend to be analytical and have "an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake." We also can understand why other INTJs think like they do, for the most part, and so we can discuss things without (permanently) pissing each other off.

I've had two things where I've asked rather specific questions and wanted their advice over email. Let's look at them quickly (paraphrasing):

Question: My car died this morning. It's gonna be expensive to get everything fixed, but I've already started repairs. It's going to be $[really expensive] to get it up and running, and the car isn't worth that. I've never bought a car on my own, and I'm thinking about buying a replacement in a month or two. How should I finance it, do you think? What kind of car should I look at buying?

Flowers' Answer:

1. Don't get it fixed! Or get it fixed elsewhere. Call and have them stop fixing it.
2. If you let it stay dead, get a ZipCar for a few months since you don't drive much.
3. You can probably get along without a car. You can take the bus and save on car insurance, gas, etc.

My (internal) response: Great points (and they are). But I asked specific questions, dammit. Answer them!

TM2000's Answer:

1. Fix your car now to get it running.
2. Get the rest of it fixed later elsewhere (somewhere cheaper).
3. Don't buy a new car. Drive this one into the ground.

My (internal) response: Great points (and they are). But I asked specific questions, dammit. Answer the--oh, wait! That's a great idea. I don't need another car just yet.

They didn't answer my question, but they helped out. Let's see how they did with a question I asked them the other night.

Question: I am going to be dressing up as a celebrity for Halloween. The celebrity is [deleted to retain surprise for blog readers]. You guys know him quite well, and I want to buy a leather jacket for the costume. Do I buy this one, which is black, or this one, which is white? [underlines were links to eBay auctions]

Flowers' Answer:

1. Wow. That much for a jacket you will wear once?
2. I don't even own a raincoat. I'm too cheap to help.
   

My (internal) response: Cheapy McCheaperson is supposed to be the subject matter expert here! Boo!

TM2000's Answer:

1. Go big or go home. Get them both!
   

My (internal) response: I rarely need encouragement to buy more useless crap from eBay, but ...

In the end, I decided to get the cheaper jacket and see how it fits before springing for both.

I love these guys, and I can't wait until I someday ask them this question:

Question: So, as you know, [wife's name] and I have been trying to conceive for some time. We are finally going to have a son! What should we name him? We are considering [Name #1] and [Name #2]. I'd love to get your preferences...

Flowers' Answer:

1. A kid? That's a mistake.
2. Didn't you already name that Guatemalan bastard [Name #2]?
3. It it too late to abort?
   

My (internal) response: He knows about [Name #2]? Damn TM2000 and his gossiping ways!

TM2000's Answer:

1. Agreed with Flowers. Abort. Too many kids and not enough oil in the world.
   
2. Name him both [Name #1] and [Name #2]. Or combine them into [Le#2Name#1Name].
   
3. Consider not naming the child and letting him choose his own name when he turns seven.
   

My (internal) response: Haha. Those answers are hilarious. I'd never be able to think them up on my own.

Maybe I should have asked if they'd mind me writing about their advice in this space. It might have a chilling effect or feel like I'm picking on them. I'm not... I'm much more explicit when I mock people.