Hosting Karaoke

I've been going to my favorite karaoke bar for just over three years. About a year and a half ago I started hosting once a week and filling in for the normal hosts on a regular basis. It was a nice way to make a bit of pocket change, and it was a reasonable way to meet girls, but it was most valuable for me because I experienced odd little stories. Due to employee turnover, after I temporarily relinquished my Sunday night gig, my coworker quit/got fired and I never got it back... but I still hosted occasionally.

Last night I hosted for the first time in a month or two. I am not 100% sure why I hadn't been invited to help out, but I think it's primarily because I got a negative Yelp comment... which is frustrating to me, because I had about a half-dozen friends say they'd leave positive comments, but no one has done so, so I just look like a prick of a host based on one chick who didn't sing as quickly as she wanted.

ANWAY... I filled in last night because the regular Sunday night guy was sick, and I made a little pocket change and I have a few little stories to tell. I didn't meet any girls, but that's OK.

Setting Up

I got to the bar at about 8:30, which gave me 30 minutes to get set up and start the karaoke at 9:00. I was asked, as I was setting up, to play Thriller as background music. I looked up the number to put it into the system but learned that it isn't in the system, so there could be no Thriller karaoke or pre-karaoke music.

As 9:00 got closer, I was approached by a customer who wanted me to play Thriller. I had already told him it wasn't in the system, and I think it's helpful here to look at the basic flow of how signing up works:

It's not complicated. I can't remember all of the 10,000-odd songs in the book, so when someone asks me if we have a song, unless I'm sure that we do, I ask them to look it up. Of course, with this guy, I had looked it up previously and the flow of our conversation over the next 15 minutes looked something like this:

After I told him I couldn't play Thriller because it wasn't in the system, he asked if he could hook his phone up to the system, since he had the song on his phone. I told him that the first problem was that it might not be the right level (line vs. mic levels) and also that I didn't have the right cord, so, alas, I didn't think that was going to work.

He was undeterred. He asked if his buddy, who has "worked with a lot of bands" could check out the sound board. Since I didn't have anything else going on, I said yes and his buddy was nice and ensured me he wasn't going to touch anything.

I wasn't sure how all of his expertise was going to help without the proper cable, and I was right when the buddy confirmed there might be a line difference issue... and there was no cable, in any event, to hook up the phone to the sound board.

A few minutes later I approached the customer and apologized for not having the song and we had this brief convo:

Me: I'm sorry, man, that we don't have that song. Is there something else you want to sing?
Him: It's fine. Hey... can you sing it?
Me: Sing what? Thriller?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Umm... maybe. I dunno. It's difficult... do you mean a capella?

Him: No. Just sing it.

Me: I thought you wanted to sing it?
Him: We just want to dance to it.

Me: Oh! Well. Sorry... see, we don't have it in our system...

It was a weird convo. 

German Chick

After things got rolling, a blond chick approached me and turned in a song. I could tell she kind of recognized me or something, even though I had no idea who she was.

Ten minutes later or so, she came back up to the podium and showed me a pic. A pic of me and a friend of hers. I instantly flashed back to an evening of karaoke in November involving me and alcohol and my shirt being unbuttoned and... yeah. Ugh.

Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be seeing random pics of drunk me well into the future?

Tears in Heaven

As the night wore on, three distinct groups of customers were present. The first group was of regulars, who came every Sunday and were all the way to my right. I knew one or two of them and they were nice people, etc., but they don't really figure into this story.

The second group of people were actors from a local theater. When I used to host Sunday nights they would come in regularly, and although there were a lot of new faces there were a couple of people I recognized and it was fun to see them again.

The third group was really just a pair of people. A man and a woman who had showed up at around midnight and had turned in three songs between them. It was a busy night, and I had told them that they probably were only going to get two songs in, and there was a chance they could only get one. 

The dude from the third group sat at the table right in front of me and basically spent the next hour staring at me. It was not a friendly stare. It was a bit vacant and, while not overtly menacing, not very pleasant.

He got to sing his first song and there were a couple before his wife's song. He changed the song selection for her and let me know they were going to sing it together.

They were in line to be the second-to-last song of the night, and they appeared to be happy to get to sing Tears in Heaven.

The third-to-last song was a Rage Against the Machine ditty, and the last was going to be Bohemian Rhapsody... those two were going to be performed by the theater group members, who are (shockingly, I know) very extroverted and willing to dance around and give it their all... it was going to be an interesting slower-paced song sandwiched between the two "bigger" songs.

The first group (of regulars) had departed, so it was essentially the theater folk, the couple, and employees of the bar.

Rage Against the Machine went fine. The crowd (remember: dominated by the theater folk) was all pumped up. 

The husband asked if he could say a couple of words before he sang, and I said yes, but that we didn't have much time since closing time was approaching.

He took the mic and his wife took the other one and he said into the rather loud room (the theater folks were still amped up), "This song is dedicated to our little boy, who was killed January 16 at a monster truck show."

Umm. Really?

He kind of smiled, but I couldn't tell if it was a "Hehe... that's a twisted joke but kinda funny" kind of way, or if it was a "I can't believe my son is gone, but I have to put on a brave face for my wife" kind of way.

As the song went on, I did some Googling and was able to pretty much confirm that it's legit. Wow.

So the song ended. They dedicated it (again) to their son (this time by name, which matched the little bit of research I'd done on my phone). I gave the guy a pat on the back and extended my condolences.

And the theater people kept talking and laughing and whatever.

I'm not blaming them. It is a bar that has booze flowing. It's a positive place and they were having fun. They also almost certainly didn't hear the guy, and if they heard the guy I'm not sure that they believed him.

The wife started crying right after she gave me her mic. The dad consoled her right in front of the stage. 

It seemed a bit weird to call up group of people to sing Bohemian Rhapsody.

After like two minutes of me not knowing what to do (must the show go on? Do I nudge the grieving parents out of the way? Do I simply shut it down a few minutes early?) the husband got onto the mic again and lightly chastised people for not being respectful.

Which made it even more awkward, because the theater folks had no idea what he was talking about. They looked up and saw an angry guy and a crying woman by the stage, and they probably saw a befuddled me standing there, looking confused and sad. They almost certainly just wanted to sing another song, so they probably didn't give a shit.

Eventually the couple shuffled out of the way. I called the last song of the night and it was sung. A couple theater people who had heard what had happened apologized to me and we agreed it was a tragic time for the parents and an awkward time for the rest of us at the karaoke bar.

In spite of the last 20 minutes or so of extreme awkwardness steeped in melancholy, I hope that I get to host again soon. The experiences are much more memorable than Civ IV and porn, my normal Sunday night fare.