This and That

Stuff from the last few days.

This is a "friends-only" blog. (Blogger.com migration note: no longer.) There are three reasons I am making it friends-only.

• First reason: I am not gainfully employed, and it's possible that potential employers might be reading this blog. With one possible individual exception, I'm not too eager to expose my current state of mind with people who will have something to do with writing me paychecks.
• Second reason: I've lost a pair of MySpace friends in the last few days. One I know about (and am confused by/disappointed with) but the other I don't know. If these people are going to zap me as friends without even telling me, they don't deserve to see this. Or maybe they aren't obligated to wade through it. It depends on one's perspective, I suppose.
• Third reason: I've been feeling pretty antisocial lately. I was out briefly both Friday and Saturday nights, but didn't drink and was home and putzing around my apartment alone (baking cookies, playing Civ IV) by 9:30 each night. I just haven't felt like being around people (or at least not more than one or two people at a time) the last few days, and making this blog entry friends-only is a way to express this misanthropy.
  

Thursday I spent the majority of the day at a company, going through the interview process. We'll see in the next couple of days if I get an offer.

Friday I ... hm. What did I do? Update my MySpace music playlist. I think that's about it. Oh, wait. Buddy One and I got some lunch at Peso's and talked to some chick who told us that she had already cried two times that morning. Also, my ex-wife called about a financial situation where paperwork wasn't done and ... yeah. Not a massive deal, but not fun.

Saturday I cleaned my living room as I watched college football (including my poor NU Wildcats getting their first loss of the season). I got to use my (incredible) vacuum and it looked great... then I took the step of busting open the boxes that I've had stacked in my living room for the year I've been in this apartment. The boxes I got through included a large amount of paper that I ended up throwing away, including my financial records from 1996. Wow. I am glad I still had those, in case I had to go back in time about a decade and then got audited.

I went to bed early Saturday night... about 11:00. Read some and then went to sleep.

I woke up around 6:00 AM, feeling a blanket of apathy and emptiness... with a throw pillow of frustration that I was awake at 6:00 AM on a Sunday morning.

Some time ago (like 18 months ago, maybe) I had the realization that I had a sort of freedom that I had never had before... I could go to dinner anywhere I wanted, I could stay out as late as I wanted or go anywhere, and as long as my cats and my job were unaffected/accounted for, there was really no one to answer to. That freedom was exhilirating but also a bit depressing. I think this morning I had that feeling squared, since I currently have no job to hold me back. I could, if I were so inclined, go buy a bunch of cat food and kitty litter and let my cats fend for themselves (in violation of my lease, natch) as I drove to Toronto or Florida or LA or Hawaii. I wouldn't have to tell anyone I was going and no one would notice that I was gone. It's a weird feeling.

After that uplifting train of thought I drifted back to sleep for a few hours and have been, pretty much, camped in front of my computer and TV during the NFL games today. My fantasy football team is moving to 4-2, winning its third straight.

I remember typing up a blog early in 2008 where I was complaining about how shitty the year had started, and I look back at what I had going on and, yeah, there were some bad things. There were also some pretty great things happening, too, and I didn't really appreciate them. Some of those things are gone now and I wish I had enjoyed them more, but that's life, I suppose. This is a downcast blog, and I'm sure that in a few months I'll re-read it and shake my head and ponder how I could not appreciate the good stuff happening right now. That's life, I suppose.