I love being half-awake. I love finishing a nap, or waking up from a night's sleep, and being able to just lie in bed and relax, somewhere between being able to dream and being able to speak. There's something serene and comforting and safe that I only feel when I am in this state and in that position.
There is no reflection on failures--past or potential. There is no hand-wringing over missed opportunities or mistakes. There is no focus, in fact, on the past at all.
I look forward without fear. I make plans and set goals and make myself smile in a way that I simply cannot replicate when I am wide awake.
No sarcasm. No cynicism. No self-doubt.
It's not real, it's not even honest, in many ways. But I like it.
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