A boxful of dramedy (or: a pencil in every orifice)

I don't know if this sort of treatment was ever actually applied to an individual, but for some reason I have it stuck in my head as part of my basic understanding of the world: if you want to cure someone of his predilection for cigars, lock him in a closet with a box full and don't let him out until he smokes them all.

(1: I know this is opening the door for gay jokes... but I can't let that stop me. 2: When I was in first grade I got into trouble for sticking pencils up my nostrils as a joke during class, and I was told, "You can stay in the next recess and stick pencils up your nose..." Of course, I actually DID stick pencils up my nose for most of the appointed time, and I didn't consider it much of a punishment.)

I'm not a huge enemy of drama. Maybe it's because I lived what was essentially a placid life for so much of my adult existence. Maybe it's because I've lucked out with good health for my family... that my parents aren't divorced... that I've only had two cats raped by homeless people... maybe I just really haven't experienced drama. So when people say they "hate drama" or "need to be drama-free" I sometimes can't relate. In fact, I'd say I kinda like drama sometimes.

Drama can be the special sauce. It can be the nice cigar after dinner.

So back to the cigar treatment (insert: Bill Clinton joke (insert: insert joke))... last night MIGHT have been the "locked in an enclosed space with a box of cigars" moment for me and drama.

I won't get into specifics, but I had about four touchdowns pulsing in my brain and I was trying to keep a handle on a situation that was melting down in the bar all around me. I had to pretend like I dropped a glass that a friend threw. I had my pinky bit to the point where blood was almost drawn. I gave a friend directions to another bar and told her to call if she had problems and then I was so distracted by other things that I didn't answer EITHER time she called.

Oops.

It was almost too much. Almost. I might have just looked at it as an opportunity of advanced of pencil-nostriling, though... I need to mull it some more.