Weekend in Wisconsin

My brother turned 30 about 2.5 hours ago. As part of my efforts to make him feel a bit less ancient, I decided to fly out to Milwaukee, WI, and hang out. To show him that life doesn't end at 30. Of course, I might only show him that it definitely ends at some time before 32 years and 10 months.

Some highlights of the trip so far:

• It was 11:00 AM and I was in the airport. I had my book (Ballad of the Whiskey Robber ... good book so far) and a fantasy football magazine and I was ready to wait for the plane to board. But I was hungry, and the Burger King was so close... I'm not a huge BK guy, but there were only like 6 people in line, so I queued up. After the first couple of people were taken care of, someone approached the person two places ahead of me with the most feared phrases in the book (at least from the perspective of a hungry person in a slow-moving restaurant line): "Thanks for saving me a spot!" So whatever. Not a huge deal, right? One more person. Well... it wasn't just one person. It was FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE. There were only like 3 people behind that guy, and all five had to cut in front of us. And four of them paid for their own meals, so it wasn't even like they were all together. Total assholes. They also spoke with southern accents, which didn't help things. Interestingly, if they had spoken with British accent, I would have forgiven them. I'm an anglophile.


• My sister graciously picked me up from the airport, and we went to a friend's place. He works for Miller and was having a Miller-sponsored party at his apartment, which is on the ground floor of a complex very near a music festival called "Summer Fest". He had LITERALLY rolled out a red carpet (actually, that might not be quite true... someone had unfolded a red carpet; I'm not sure that HE did anything, and I'm not sure the carpet was unrolled). Anyways, there was velvet rope up and there was a stool near the opening of the rope where people (who we knew (actually who THEY knew; I only knew about 4 people in the state, so going by who I knew woulda been a bad move in terms of attendance)) could come and go. I was talking to a young woman (named after a Dr. Who character... the geek in me was thrilled with that) for some time, and I ended up sitting in that stool as the music festival was getting out. Well, predictably, people walked by and were wondering what was going on. Some asked what the cover was. Some took my standard "It's a private party. Invite only." line in stride and kept moving. One group of guys, though, had other ideas. There were four of them, and the first guy just walked right past me into the apartment like he knew what he was doing. The second one was a bit slower, and the third one looked kinda shifty and uncertain. The woman I was talking to and I looked at one another and contemplated whether we should, like, stop them. So after a moment, I stepped in front of the second guy and told him it was a private party and asked him to leave. I placed my hand on his lower back and started guiding him back away from the apartment. He gave me the classic "Push me again..." line, but I was able to steer him out and away without either of us feasting on knuckle sandwiches. The first guy was inside the apartment, probably trying to find a lady to rub up against, to get his hands on some free beer, or to give a critique of the apartment's decor. I approached him and let him know that it was a private party, and he looked me in the eye and gave... no expression. He'd been drinking a little bit, but he knew what he was doing. I sort of invaded his personal space and herded him out of the apartment, but he at onepoint stopped and I had to do the old "hand on the lower back" push, to which he (predictably) replied, "Push me one more time..." It's bizarre how his reaction was the exact same as his buddy's. It's also strange how there were like 10 guys who were SUPPOSED to be at the party standing around, and the only one who seemed to give a damn as to what was going on was me... and then my brother stepped in and eventually the guy turned tail. It wasn't overly tense, but it was the closest I've been to being in a fight since... hrm... like Tuesday. I'm always kicking ass over something.


• I enjoyed hanging out with the woman I talked to so much tonight. She lives near Chicago and I'll never see her again. Odd to think of it, but that's life.


• I think we might go golfing tomorrow. I talked a lot of smack about not being sore last time I played, and even though it'll only be nine holes I have a bad feeling about this...

Expect more exciting happenings from the Cheese State soon! (#1: Maybe not "more", since these happenings weren't exciting; #2: Is this the Cheese State? If not, it should be.)